It’s been an interesting month really, which amongst many other things included a visit to Cologne to see Avril Lavigne in concert. Arriving nice and early meant having time to kill and what better way to do that, than check out the local shops? Whilst my associate, young James Macdonald checked out the trendy clothes emporiums, I found the Lego shop and it all came flooding back. However, you’ll be glad to hear that I resisted the urge to buy anything and before you cast judgement upon me, just remember “adults are simply kids playing in a different playground”. So say’ eth the man who still can’t draw a perfect circle on Etch-a-Sketch or complete the Rubik’s cube.

Here continues my retro look at Classic Children’s Television and just where do I start this month? Well, why not start at the very beginning? Don’t worry, this isn’t a cue for a Julie Andrews ‘Sound of Music’ number, that comes later (Only kidding!).

Saturday morning viewing. This was divided into two. You were either a ‘Tiswas’ fan or a ‘Swap Shop’ fan. Now let me think what was more enjoyable? Listening to some kid wanting to swap their latest baggy jumper knitted by their Gran for an Atari Games console or seeing another kid being chased around a television studio by the Phantom Flan Flinger and then possibly attacked by Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog. It was a tough personal choice. ‘Tiswas’ also starred a young presenter who you may nowadays see on television quite a lot. If you can’t remember his name then don’t worry, you can go 50/50, phone a friend or ask the audience. It was Chris Tarrant, a fellow Birmingham DJ who seems to have done rather well. Chris, any chance of a loan? Sally James also featured, as did Lenny Henry, in various roles including a rather ridiculous David Bellamy, which in fact was so bad it was good. Tiswas’ popularity continued to grow, up until the point when TV authorities started setting rules for the show and Tarrant, Henry and eventually James left. The show ran for 8 years. ‘Swap Shop’ or ‘The Multi-Coloured Swap Shop’ to give it its former proper title survived for a mere 5. But to give it its due, it launched the TV careers of some great talent, Noel Edmonds and Keith Chegwin. The BBC sometimes has a lot to answer for.

This Saturday morning time-slot however continued to evolve and who would have thought that a stupid hand puppet could transcend the barriers of television and reach super stardom? In 1985, he appeared alongside some bloke called Phillip Schofield in a broom cupboard presenting childrens programmes for the BBC. Then in 1987, together with his sidekick Mr Schofield, joined ‘Going Live’. Who else, but of course Gordon the Gopher. ‘Going live’ was also presented by Sarah Green and gave Programme Directors the motivation to seek technological advances. This meant learning, the hard way, not to take callers live to air without a delay system in place, in case anybody said anything rude. You may recall the studio interview on ‘Going Live’ with Five Star when one particular caller rang to tell them just what he thought of them, in no uncertain terms, whoops! But, nevertheless, Gordon the Gopher’s career continued to grow, despite being replaced in the broom cupboard by a duck called Ed. In 1990, you could even buy your very own Gopher, complete with squeak for a mere £15. Did you buy one? But what happened to the real one? Sadly, during research for this article, I uncovered the fact that a badly decomposed body was found some years ago in a BBC locker and identified as Gordon. May he rest in peace and not rudely interrupt anybody’s conversation again with his annoying squeak. Now let’s move on…

Every Saturday afternoon, after the sport (good ole’ Dickie Davis), I can clearly remember waiting in awe in front of the television to check out the latest adventures of Gobo, Wembley, Mokey, Boober and Red, down at ‘Fraggle Rock’. The series was created by Muppet Show legend Jim Henson and ran for over 85 episodes from ’83-’87. Every week Gobo would receive a postcard from his Uncle Matt who was busy exploring the real world, (I’m sure he visited London once, probably not Birmingham though) and no episode would’ve been complete without a trip to the Gorg’s castle. The Gorgs were gigantic ugly Muppets, a bit like Neil Knowles really. They didn’t like Fraggles, but could never catch them or at least not for long. Remember the little green things, Doozers? Never happy unless they were building something. A weird existence really, a bit like the LAD, never happy unless they’re fixing things either. J

Does Dai-X mean anything to you? As you rack your minds to work out exactly what I’m talking about, here’s another clue, part of the show’s theme tune…

Send a message out across the sky
Alien raiders just past Gemini
Who will come and save us now?
Who can defend us from the power?

Okay, no idea? Well then let me put you out of your misery. ‘Star Fleet’. Saturdays as a kid were great. This was around the same time as ‘Terrahawks’, the show with the evil Zelda and lots of nasty noughts and crosses styled baddies, but I thought this was much better. Dai-X was in fact a big red robot, but was made up of lots of smaller spaceships which all fitted together; giving humanity its last hope against the alien invaders, it was very cool. The show ran for only 24 episodes and was shown on UK television for the first time in October 1982 with Brian May covering the show’s catchy theme tune and even though it contained puppets, Gerry Anderson had nothing to do with it.

Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss
Old fat furry cat-puss
Wake up and look at this thing that I bring
Wake up, be bright
Be golden and light
Bagpuss, Oh hear what I sing

And Bagpuss was wide-awake and when Bagpuss wakes up all his friends wake up too…

Did you know that Bagpuss was originally meant to be ginger? However there was a slight confusion with the fabric that was bought to make him. Remember Emily? Time after time she used to confuse the magical cat and his friends by bringing them lots of broken things. A bottle with bits of broken wood in it. Oh what a fantastic gift. Eventually, after much confusion they realise that it’s a ship in a bottle and set about fixing it. I’d watch out for those mice on the Marvellous Mechanical Mouse organ though if I was you. Six mice in fact featured in the TV series. Charlie Mouse, who wore a grey checked suit, and appeared to be their leader. Eddie Mouse, who wore a blue suit with a green jacket. Janie Mouse, who wore a pink dress with a red waistcoat. Jennie Mouse, who wore a blue dress. Lizzie Mouse, who wore a blue flowery dress with a blue waistcoat and finally Willie Mouse, who wore a flowery top and red trousers. This final bit of information you’ll be glad to hear I didn’t know off the top of my head, before you start getting worried as to whether I do have a life or not outside of BFBS. According to thebubbleburst.co.uk something I didn’t realise was that Bagpuss and all of the other toys still live in the shop with the show’s creator, Peter Firmin and that Emily, now a bit older of course, makes Paper-Mache animals and sells them in a shop in Kent. Well I never.

Okay enough about Saturday television, before I start boring you. What about a few classics?

You may find this hard to believe, but Sea-man Staines, Master Bates and Roger the Cabin Boy never really existed. Ask the show’s creator, John Ryan. There was however a Master Mate and Tom the Cabin Boy in ‘Captain Pugwash’, but then again, why let the truth get in the way of a good story? Originally it was very much a low-key animation, which has more recently been given a new lease of life with new stories and artwork. However, I bet you can remember the theme tune can’t you?

It sounds more like a horror story really than a kids television programme. A person who could change their head at the drop of a hat (if you pardon the pun) and a man, always dressed in black, who had the power to end or bring something to life, just like that. Okay, maybe I’m taking a liberty when calling Worzel Gummidge a person, when in fact he was merely a scarecrow brought to life by the Crowman, but nevertheless, I can see why some may have chosen not to watch. Jon Pertwee played the part of Worzel, brought to life to scare all the pesky birds away from Ten Acre Field, all except for a little robin that is, that lived in Worzel’s stomach. I don’t know how many heads he had in total. He had a different one depending on what mood he was in, he wore whichever to suit and kept the rest in an old barrel, nice and safe. Perfect storage. Removal companies take note. The scarecrow’s love interest was Aunt Sally, played by Una Stubbs, a very prim and proper fairground mannequin who thought that the likes of her were much too grand for the likes of a mere man made of straw. How shallow can women be sometimes? She broke ole’ Worzel’s heart, she did. Well she would’ve done if he’d had one in the first place.

‘Chorlton and the Wheelies’ ran on UK television for 3 years, from 1976-‘79 originally. The series was set in Wheelie World where everybody was miserable as they were constantly being tormented by the evil Fenella, who was never happy unless she was miserable. I’m sure I could mention a few other people I know who are just like her, but I won’t. I enjoy living! Things simply couldn’t get any worse for the inhabitants of Wheelie World. However, a Happiness Dragon, with a broad Mancunian accent, is born and spoils all of the witch’s wicked plans. The dragon, Chorlton, not the most switched-on of characters, innocently spreads happiness and joy to the world and in his happy, cheerful and bumbling manner. One interesting thing I did hear about this was that the show’s creators did in fact end up in a spot of bother when the series was sold overseas. The magic spell book was meant to feature a Magic Star on its front cover. However, the show’s set designer, mistakenly painted onto it the Star of David. The trouble was that the book was called ‘ClapTrap Von SpilldaBeans’. It was German and voiced with a German accent. I’ll let you put two and two together to work out why this may have caused a problem.

That’s it for this month I’m afraid, however, next month I’ll be, as previously promised, taking a look at the legend that is ‘Gerry Anderson’ and some of his creations, which to this day remain timeless. For more classic links to sites featuring all of this months TV shows, simply check out www.neilcarter.net/classics.htm and I’ll catch you from 6-9am for weekday breakfast on BFBS Radio 1.